Blog 5 (Peer Review of Wenni's WA2)

Wenni's written assignment 2 essay regarding question 1 is quite coherent and clear. She started off by giving a brief introduction on the topic, followed by a question. It is a good introduction as it engages the reader to be more interested to read further on the rest of the essay. In addition, her thesis/stand is clearly stated, where she then proceed to elaborate to further support her stand.

For the body paragraphs, more transitions should be used to show the flow between the paragraphs. It would make it easier for the reader to know whether a certain point has ended, and will be moving on to the next point.
As this is an argumentative writing, many examples are used to support her stand. However, the only problem is that the examples should be elaborated further. The reader might have his/her own stand, therefore it is important to elaborate the examples to further convince the reader. In other words, after stating all the problems that climate models may give, the solutions should be well elaborated to make the problems seemed minimal.

Lastly, for the conclusion, it is advisable not to use terms such as "In a nutshell" because it is normally used in informal writing. Other than that, her conclusion is quite well written as it concludes with her stand as well as a proposed general solution to counter any problems faced while using climate models.

Overall, the whole essay is quite easy to follow and understand. However, as this is an argumentative writing, the essay might not be strong enough to convince the reader to follow her stand. With more elaboration on the examples, it would give enough reasons for the reader to consider her stand. Finally, watch out for grammatical errors and sentence structure, not to forget, all the citations(APA style).